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Keep Calm And Mkhitaryan remain top of the League - and overall - with a 37 point performance on Week 5. Keep Calm's score was 5 more than nearest rivals Relegation Terrorists and increases the gap to 11 points. 38 for Swiffer moves them closer to the top two in 3rd.
Ramraiders are the shock Nightmare 11 of the week with 49 points. Inspired by 19 points from Billy Sharp who was sent off, their second best Nightmare was Kyle Walker with 7 points. Raiders climb 3 places to move into the Division Three promotion places. Wat A Team were next best with 47 - they move within a point of top spot in Division Two, and up to 5th overall.
Perennial title challengers The Muppets have struggled a little this season so far, in no small part due to the early season form of Teemu Pukki and Ashley Barnes. The latter has moved himself into positive points this week (3), but after a 6 point week last week, Pukki scored again and -2 Nightmare points now makes his season total -8. Manager Richard Hancy dipped into the transfer window this week - making two changes for the second time this season. Both new boys were dropped to the bench by Bournemouth, and while Chris Mepham picked up a point for a last minute appearance, Ryan Fraser came on and scored. And as Muppets' two new boys scored -1 points between them, the two Newcastle men they replaced - Javier Manquillo and Jono Shelvey - earned themselves 7. The 8 point loss is enough to see Muppets fall into the Division One relegation zone. Watch out though, there is a very long way to go and I would not be at all surprised to see Muppets in the mix at the top before too long.

Christoffam are another team who have achieved recent success - two promotions in their first two seasons in Nightmare Soccer - but they are finding it much tougher in Division One. Chris Adamson-Middlemas took his transfer count to 7 already with 3 changes this week, and the three boys that came in picked up 4 points. Two of the sales were no-brainers with Sean Longstaff and Leandro Trossard injured. The kick in the teeth for the Christoffs though was watching Crystal Palace lose 4-0 at Tottenham with Patrick van Aanholt score an own goal. You've guessed it, van Aanholt was the other man Chris sold this week... after scoring -5 in his four appearances for Christoffam, they miss out on his 15 point performance!

Hextable Hackers, like Muppets a very experienced Nightmare 11, have also been very busy in the transfer market as they try to improve their fortunes after a disappointing run. Things could finally be falling into place for John-Paul Meredith's men, they climb over both Muppets and Christoffam to move two places clear of relegation with a 34 point week. John-Paul will be mighty glad of Tammy Abraham's yellow card and own goal - to go with this hattrick - otherwise the Chelsea man would have -13 points from two Hackers appearances! As it is, he's scored zero since joining Hextable on Week 4.
TOP TEAMS this week
Stephen Patten
Wat a team
Marc Snell
Schoolboy Errors
Oliver Willingham
The Woodenmen
Matt Woodmansey
Andrew White
Only Connect
Tony Moore
TOP PLAYERS this week
Patrick Van AanholtCRYSTAL PALACE15
Patrick Van AanholtCRYSTAL PALACE15
Conor CoadyWOLVES11
Rui PatricioWOLVES11
Jesus VallejoWOLVES11
NIGHTMARE SOCCER - free fantasy football with a sense of humour
Our existing Managers are under way, but you can enter Nightmare Soccer at any time - your Nightmare 11 will be entered into a new Division with other new teams so you're not at a disadvantage even when the season has started.

Click the Join Now link above to join the fun, read about Nightmare Soccer below and/or click the About link to find out more...
he's having a nightmare!
As football fans we’ve all experienced that feeling of exasperation when your star striker misses a sitter, puts a penalty past the post or just goes missing for 90 minutes. The sudden onset of desperation when your centre back nods the ball over your ‘keeper into his own net, and the deflation when your captain is sent off for a silly second yellow just when it looks like your team’s getting back into the match.

Well now you can turn these Nightmare events to your advantage... play Nightmare Soccer now!
what's it about?
Nightmare Soccer challenges you to pick the worst team possible from the Premier League. Pick your selection of unlikely lads to make up your Nightmare 11 - then sit back and watch them perform... disastrously, you hope! You gain points from your players’ misfortunes - if your forwards can’t score, they’ll be doing well in Nightmare Soccer. If your goalkeeper is conceding lots of goals, he’ll be a Nightmare star too. It’s all quite simple - the worse your Nightmare 11 perform, the more points they get. So every time one of your players ‘has a Nightmare’ you can look forward to a successful week in Nightmare Soccer.
what does it cost and what can i win?
The rather sad hobby of one man for 20 years now, Nightmare Soccer is just for fun. It’s completely free to play and there are no big cash prizes to win. Our big winners receive an engraved Nightmare Soccer pint glass to commemorate their achievements; other prizes include mugs, key rings, pens, mouse mats etc.
build your unique Nightmare 11 in the player auctions
Did you ever play a fantasy football game, have an amazing week then find out your best mate’s got all the same players that did so well for you? Would Harry Kane have been so effective last season if he was playing for 13 teams each week, as he was in the fantasy mini league I took part in? When you enter Nightmare Soccer your team is allocated into a division with a maximum of 16 teams and we start the season with a bidding war, the gloves come off as you fight it out for the players you want. Safe in the knowledge no-one else in your division has any of your players, you really can enjoy your Saturday night on that magical day when one of your Nightmare boys misses a penalty, scores an own goal and gets sent off.

Once the season starts, you can change your team whenever you want, but you will only be able to buy players who are not already playing for another Nightmare 11 in your division. A new signing starts playing for you from the start of the next set of Premier League matches - so if you buy a player once a weekend's set of fixtures is already under way, he won't score any points for your Nightmare 11 until the next set of matches.
promotion, relegation, cup competitions and even the Nightmare Soccer champions' league
Because your team competes in a realistic size division, Nightmare Soccer gives you the extra challenges of aiming for promotion, to avoid relegation, and to qualify for Europe. Finish high enough in your division and you could qualify for the Champions’ League or the Eur’opeless League the following season.

If you’re awful enough to qualify for Europe, your team will go head to head with another Nightmare team on Champions’ League and Eur’opeless League match days. Unlike other competitions where head to head ties usually end in ridiculous results like 64-42, our innovative ‘goal scoring’ system means match scores are realistic and there’s a fair chance of ties ending in a draw.

Our domestic Cups follow the same format… the Sweet-FA Cup is our version of the FA Cup.
come on in and Join the Nightmare Community!
Week 4 - Terrorists best, Keep Calm stay top
Week 3 - Keep Calm go top
Week 2 - Wat a Team!
Week 1 - new Managers share top spot
Changes for 2019-20
European competitions return
Kurt ZoumaCHELSEA395
Abdoulaye DoucoureWATFORD373
David LuizARSENAL329
Chris WoodBURNLEY316
TrezequetASTON VILLA29
Luka MilivojevicCRYSTAL PALACE299
Tim KrulNORWICH295
Max AaronsNORWICH28
Jose HolebasWATFORD287
Cesar AzpilicuetaCHELSEA275
Craig DawsonWATFORD275
Kiko FemeniaWATFORD277

View full player list
Sergio AgueroMAN CITY-16-2
Teemu PukkiNORWICH-8-2
Pierre-Emerick AubameyangARSENAL-5-5
Sadio ManeLIVERPOOL-5-5
Calum ChambersARSENAL-3
Mohamed SalahLIVERPOOL-3-2
Serge AurierTOTTENHAM-3-3
Antonio RudigerCHELSEA-1-2
Alexandre LacazetteARSENAL0
Johann GudmundssonBURNLEY0
Jeff HendrickBURNLEY0-2
Raheem SterlingMAN CITY03
FernandinhoMAN CITY0
Cedric SoaresSOUTHAMPTON0-3