| MATCH WEEK 15 - FANDANGO FALTER |
Well it's not often we see a headline like that so I just have to start with it. By their own outrageous standards, 36 points is a disastrous week for our overall League leaders Clem Fandango, providing hopes and dreams for the rest of us to ponder over the six-week break. It could have been an awful lot worse for Matt Woodmansey though - without captain Liam Cooper (22), Issa Diop (11) and Idrissa Gueye (10), Fandango's other eight Nightmares totaled -7 points. (Un)-inspired by Ivan Toney.
Matt's close eye on the fixtures saw him bring in Toney alongside Brentford teammate Frank Onyeka. The Bees' main man's two goals against the champions, with a 9/10 rating, saw him score -7 points. Onyeka picked up 2. Meanwhile Danny Ward and Adam Smith were also in the negatives with -3 each. The other five Fandangos scored six points between them.
I thought Clem's slip-up was going to see the gap at the top of the table slip under the century, until I watched Diop deflect Bruno Fernandes' cross into the path of Christian Eriksen for Man United's first goal and begrudgingly had to award the Fulham defender a Nightmare Assist. However, Matt's 101 point lead is 53 less than it was at its peak... The Halibut Flounderers gained 19 on The Clems, but will be a little disappointed as they could have cut the deficit by 35 had they chosen Pickford (15) in goal ahead of Jose Sa (7) and had Jarrod Bowen (6) higher up the subs list than James Maddison (-2).
3rd place Slippery Slimy Pineapple, meanwhile, scored 8 more than Founderers and so make ground on both the top two. Eloise Willingham could only have scored 1 more point with the squad at hand, but will regret putting her mortgage on Brentford - bringing in three defenders that scored 12 points between them including one as Captain. The sales of Forest boys Aurier (-3) and McKenna (0) were inspired, but the other boy deposed was Southampton's Duje Caleta-Car who went and bagged himself 13 points. Should have kept him and had faith in last season's top Nightmare Ilan Meslier and thrown him the armband... the Leeds 'keeper scored 17. With zero transfers and Meslier as captain, Pineapple's weekly score of 63 would have been 80. |
| TASTY WEEK FOR BISCUITS |
| Fifteen weeks in and we have our 12th different name on the Team-of-the-Week award. Still only three teams have topped the weekly list more than once (our overall top three). Sergio Biscuits are this week's top scorers, and if you're going to get the best score in a week this is the way to do it. Biscuits' 110 point total is a huge 31 points more than the second best - without any Jokers needed - and well over double the week's average (47). Wilfried Zaha came good for Oliver Willingham's boys with 20 points. Some forwards are dangerous to own but maybe worth just accepting they are going to hurt you with minus points some weeks, but come good overall. Despite his obvious quality, Zaha has always done well over the course of a season - last season he finished with 145 points, this time round he's on 62 with 37% of Palace's games played, so is on course for 167. Captain Mohamed Salisu (11) was a good choice for Captain, while Biscuits were fortunate to have Emmanuel Dennis and Scott McKenna NOT play for Forest - they were replaced in Oliver's 11 by Cheick Doucoure (6) and Jeffrey Schlupp (14). Biscuits could only have done 3 points better than they did - by playing yet another Palace midfielder, Eze (6) instead of Rico Henry (3). In a perfect finish to 'Part One' of this season, Biscuits climb five to 10th overall and, significantly, climb two places to top spot in Nightmare League One. |
| CELEBRATIONS AT THE BREWERY |
| Blackheart Brewery are second top for the week with 79. A surprise but inspired Captain choice, with another man that missed a penalty - Youri Tielemans - earning 24 for Brewery. Next best points scorer for Garry Simpson's boys was another fortunate sub in Demarai Gray (10), but Garry's lack of faith in Everton meant he missed out on 11 points for Conor Coady and 10 for Alex Iwobi. Brewery could have scored 99. |
| INJURIES, SUSPENSIONS AND THE LIKE... |
| Click here to view the Player Status page. |
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| TOP TEAMS - this week | | Team | Manager | Points | | Sergio biscuits | Oliver Willingham | 110 | | Blackheart Brewery FC | Garry Simpson | 79 | | The Muppets | Richard Hancy | 73 | | Hextable Hackers | John-Paul Meredith | 71 | | Nightmare Novices | Colette Anthony | 70 |
| | | TOP NIGHTMARES - this week | | Player | Team | Points | | Wilfried Zaha | CRYSTAL P. | 20 | | Illan Meslier | LEEDS | 17 | | Tyler Adams | LEEDS | 15 | | Jordan Pickford | EVERTON | 15 | | Stuart Armstrong | S'HAMPTON | 14 | | Jeffrey Schlupp | CRYSTAL P. | 14 |
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| TOP NIGHTMARES | | Player | Team | Points | This | | Chris Mepham | BOURNEMOUTH | 112 | | | Jefferson Lerma | BOURNEMOUTH | 110 | 0 | | Mohammed Salisu | S'HAMPTON | 107 | 11 | | Demarai Gray | EVERTON | 102 | 10 | | Scott McKenna | NOTT'M FOREST | 101 | | | Brennan Johnson | NOTT'M FOREST | 101 | 3 | | Robin Koch | LEEDS | 99 | 9 | | Adam Smith | BOURNEMOUTH | 93 | -3 | | Daniel Podence | WOLVES | 92 | 8 | | Jarrod Bowen | WEST HAM | 91 | 6 |
| | | WORST NIGHTMARES | | Player | Team | Points | This | | Erling Haaland | MAN CITY | -31 | 10 | | Reiss Nelson | ARSENAL | -6 | 1 | | Kieran Trippier | NEWCASTLE | -1 | -2 | | Asmir Begovic | EVERTON | -1 | |
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| TOP NIGHTMARES - BY RATING | | Player | Team | Ave. rating | | Luka Milivojevic | CRYSTAL P. | 5.25 | | Diego Costa | WOLVES | 5.33 | | Abdoulaye Doucoure | EVERTON | 5.33 | | Curtis Jones | LIVERPOOL | 5.33 | | Nelson Semedo | WOLVES | 5.33 | | Luke Thomas | LEICESTER | 5.33 | | Jaidon Anthony | BOURNEMOUTH | 5.40 | | Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang | CHELSEA | 5.40 | | Kostas Tsimikas | LIVERPOOL | 5.40 | | Kristoffer Ajer | BRENTFORD | 5.50 | | Jan Bednarek | ASTON V. | 5.50 | | Wilfred Ndidi | LEICESTER | 5.50 | | Emerson Royal | TOTTENHAM | 5.50 |
| | | WORST NIGHTMARES - BY RATING | | Player | Team | Ave. rating | | Kevin De Bruyne | MAN CITY | 7.85 | | Erling Haaland | MAN CITY | 7.62 | | Allan Saint-Maximin | NEWCASTLE | 7.50 | | Gabriel Jesus | ARSENAL | 7.36 | | Gabriel Martinelli | ARSENAL | 7.36 | | Kaoru Mitoma | BRIGHTON | 7.33 | | Bukayo Saka | ARSENAL | 7.29 | | Luis Diaz | LIVERPOOL | 7.25 | | Bruno Guimaraes | NEWCASTLE | 7.25 | | Aleksandar Mitrovic | FULHAM | 7.25 |
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Players must have played 23 minutes or more in at least three matches to appear in the Player Ratings charts. |
| LEAGUE FORMAT + EUROPE |
We are starting the season with four divisions - each with nine teams. It's three-up-three-down, with the top four in each division qualifying for next season's Champions' League... everyone else goes in the Eur'opeless League.
This season's Champions' League will include Nightmare Teams that finished in the top six of our three Divisions last season. With two of these having resigned, that leaves us with 16 teams that will be randomly allocated to four groups of four.
Our other 20 Teams will enter this season's Eur'opeless League. I don't intend to start the European competitions very early in the season (maybe after the World Cup break), and any new Teams that join us between now and then will also be in the Eur'opeless League. |
| LAST SEASON |
| Click here to check out last season's site with all the final League Tables |